


tell me we'll never get used to it

by cityofflights



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Asexual Character, Cuddling & Snuggling, Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27897127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cityofflights/pseuds/cityofflights
Summary: "If you asked any of Sonny’s many relatives or friends to describe what he would consider a perfect day, the answers would vary as many times as you asked the question. Some would say it involved spending it with his family, others would go for the “watching a baseball match with friends” option and while they wouldn’t be entirely off base they wouldn’t be 100% correct because while those used to be his absolute favorites, in the last year his priorities had changed quite a bit."Sonny reflects on his relationship with Rafael on their one-year anniversary
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	tell me we'll never get used to it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [givebackmylifecas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/givebackmylifecas/gifts).



> for ellen, happy birthday, may your day be filled with wonder

If you asked any of Sonny’s many relatives or friends to describe what he would consider a perfect day, the answers would vary as many times as you asked the question. Some would say it involved spending it with his family, others would go for the “watching a baseball match with friends” option and while they wouldn’t be entirely off base they wouldn’t be 100% correct because while those used to be his absolute favorites, in the last year his priorities had changed quite a bit.

Because now including Rafael in his plans was no longer a thing out of his wildest dreams, a scenario only possible in his imagination. Now he could confidently say that a perfect day just meant being together, no matter how unbelievably corny that was. It was the truth after all.

So when his boyfriend made sure they both had the same day off to celebrate their one-year anniversary (a few days late because unfortunately, New York criminals didn’t follow their schedules) Sonny was over the moon. They didn’t do anything fancy, just lunch at their favorite restaurant followed by a walk around the park but still, it filled his heart with joy.

Now, laying on their bed together at the end of the day, pressing his face on the crook of Rafael’s neck while the other man plays with his fresh out-of-the-shower fluffy hair he can’t help but reminiscence on the date they’re celebrating today, the year the spend building their relationship.

“Rafi” he moved from his position so his words wouldn’t be muffled by the soft skin, choosing instead to rest his chin on Rafael’s chest so he could look him in the eye without losing too much contact.

“Humm?” his boyfriend was close to falling asleep so his answer came slow and slurred.

“Are you happy?”

Sonny surprised them both with the words that came out of his mouth, he hadn’t planned to start the conversation like that but he couldn’t deny it was an excellent attention grabber as Rafael opened his eyes as soon as he heard them, looking infinitely more awake then he was seconds before.

“Of course I am. Are you...not?” he sounded so uncertain Sonny had to put everything else on hold to kiss him softly and slowly, to clear any doubt there may have been about his feelings.

“Don't be silly. I couldn’t be happier, I never imagined I would have something like this.” he kept their foreheads pressed together, in part to be as close as possible to Rafael but also to avoid eye contact. Despite trusting Rafael completely this particular conversation has headed into territory that always made him uncomfortable. 

When he came out as asexual to Rafael, it was right after the first time they kissed, he had his back turned to him the whole time, afraid to see the disappointment and confusion on the man’s face. Instead, he crossed the room, kissed his forehead, and held him as all his fears and doubts came pouring out. But Rafael had reassured him that his sexuality didn't change a damn thing about the way he felt for him and that was something his boyfriend never failed to remember him of.

“Why not?”

“You know why not. It never felt like something I could realistically hope for.” 

“Sonny-”

“No, please let me talk. I really want you to understand how special you are to me, how loved you make me feel, I need to tell you.”

“Okay soleado, I’m listening”

“This past year you have given me everything I’ve been wishing for since I was old enough to understand what love meant. For so long I’ve been with people who loved despite. Despite being too loud, too eager, too naive, too caring. Too uninterested in having sex with them. You don’t love me despite, you love me because. And at first, it didn’t really click in my mind that was possible, that those same things that made everyone leave were the same things making you want to stay even more. You will never truly understand how great of a gift that is.”

“I- Fuck I think I’m gonna use that on my wedding vows” a second too late he seemed to process he hadn’t just thought that but in fact said it out loud “I mean not that that’s something we should be worrying about right now. I just meant- Well- Let’s go back, what I meant to say was I love you.”

During Rafael’s panicked explanation Sonny had made no effort to hide his amusement, his whole body shaking with the force of his laughter at seeing the always composed attorney so flustered.

“Don’t worry Rafi, I won’t sue you for copyright infringement if you steal my love declaration and repeat it at our wedding.” 

“As if anyone would ever believe that I’m that good at articulating my feelings.”

“You do well enough for me.”

“You’re kind of bias but I’ll allow it”

“Thank you, Your Honor.”


End file.
